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happy birthday

by outerspaceman

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1.
fuck (my own) rules 01:46
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all the girls that look so good just aren't really that cool. i'm a fucking hypocrite, i'm a fucking tool. cause we still share the same sheets. i can't change my own rules. i thought i was living for myself, i guess that isn't true. or maybe it is, man i just don't know what to do. cause i let you in my bedroom, and i still have no clue, why i let you in my bedroom. i can't change my own rules.
2.
be yourself unless that sucks 01:13
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you're all so fucking beautiful and none of you are grateful you don't know that you're pitiful you should learn to be truthful about what you have and what you own and how you think you have the right to complain about the cold you've got your health a roof over your head you'll enjoy everyday of your life until you're dead and you still think you have so much to bitch about like, "oh my god i can't afford those shoes" and, "oh my god, i hate sitting in this classroom" and, "thank god it's the weekend now i can show everyone i got money to spend" cause i work all day into the night procrastinating about figuring out my life cause happiness ain't free or that's the way it seems but hey, i guess that's never really mattered to me and i still think i have so much to bitch about
3.
do you have a mental condom? 01:16
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i need to learn some self control i dig myself into this hole and once i'm in i wonder why i'm there i need to learn some self respect not make you just another subject cause this experiment i'm performing is destroying my conscience i need to learn my own self worth and prove i'm not a fucking jerk to myself and to everyone i meet i need to learn about myself i think i'm done living in hell and i'm sorry you came on this ride with me
4.
sorry 02:34
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i hope no one ever takes a picture of me again i don't think i'll ever be comfortable with my body and so i'm constantly in search for just one more beer while you're constantly fighting back the tears i've only ever been in love with people who will never know and i'm afraid that the words will never escape my mouth when it actually counts but i just can't see past myself into your mind and see you looked past everything else all the time so now you're crying on the phone and i made us both happy to be alone i just don't know how to fall in love i could blame it on myself, i could blame it on my father leaving me or i could lie to you and tell you that the roots of love don't grow deeper than my family tree but really i'm just cynical you were wonderful and i was such an asshole i just need to figure things out for myself cause i can't let nobody in
5.
the way she goes 01:45
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i let this high reside before i'm home oh god my eyes are way too low just another day i spent alone i didn't get out of bed no one would pick up their phone trying to locate some sense of direction i just wish that i could make a new connection cause everybody's less excited when i come back home and i don't think that they know that it shows have i grown too old for this old town? i don't know if i would ever stick around it seems the place i grew up has decomposed but i guess that's just the way that it goes

about

shittily recorded on an iphone. shittily mixed in logic. shit.

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released January 13, 2014

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outerspaceman Boston, Massachusetts

@_outerspaceman

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